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World Tourney Wrangling Wraps Up – Maybe!
Submitted By: Global Broomball Magazine on May 17, 2018 at 3:06:54 PM

The hysteria that hits when the world tourney visits Minneapolis/St. Paul has reached a fever pitch!

The Mag has seen it before. 2002… USA Blue, USA Red and The Saints are all in acquisition mode right up until the first ball is dropped in November. 2006… The QA/Red/Inferno drama leads to two teams going in, while USA Blue devours Vannelli’s talent to form a new look squad. The Barons, and Flames also joined in on the week long extravaganza.

2018 though has seen dizzying new heights reached in the free agent market for the November to Remember tourney! More guys have changed sweaters than at a Macy’s refund counter the day after Christmas. You ready? Get your scorecards out, but keep a giant eraser nearby!

According to reports Kelly Lake took down the help wanted sign first, choosing to stick mainly with the core. Sources have said however it’s entirely possible a few guys from Legion (who can change jerseys faster than Clark Kent in a phone booth) may be along for the November ride, as well as regular Kelly call-ups from Sticks and Stones. The Laker brothers were courted early in the game (2016) as soon as Barrie’s Tavern management heard the tourney was Blaine bound, and then again late, as a tantalizingly close merger fell apart with C&L Excavating. They held firm, and will now do it Frank Sinatra style.

Speaking of Barrie’s, despite collecting more hardware than a Home Depot over the last seven years the squads expiration date got stamped 4/18/18, done in by Devan Dubynk and GroupMe! Who was going where has been the speculation for several weeks? It seems the smoke has cleared, and here is what The Mag knows….

The OG’s have flip-flopped twice on whether to pursue competition in the master’s division, or be Obama birth certificate deniers, and battle father time by staying in the main draw. ‘Twould seem as though sanity prevailed, as there are three guys 50 plus, and three more deep into their 40’s. Tommy Macalus, one of Minnesota’s Mount Rushmore of broomball faces over the last 35 years, and member of USA Broomball’s “First Family” (three Macalus member’s reside in the HOF) will join future lock-HOFer’s Casey and Sean Gibbons in attempting to win Master’s Gold. They will be joined by 30+ year Barrie’s Tavern member and founding father of Barrie’s Tavern Version 2.0, USA Broomball HOFer Richie Chiarizia. “This Is Garc”, the most decorated goaltender this decade will guard the cage, and the “Fountain of Misinformation” Chippy O’Neil will captain the blue line. The Sundevils have also added key pieces Jason Revels and Dan Jenks to the Hunt for Gold November, and are still in full blown acquisition mode, wheeling and dealing with veterans from St. Paul to Syracuse. Filet Mignon fellas, no ball park franks on the menu.

The Barrie’s Young Guns may have been the most sought after commodities on the Blaine free agent market. Lead negotiator Jaunty will need right thumb surgery, as his unlimited texting plan has been stretched beyond absurd. Chiefs? CL? New team? The answer is in, as after watching goalkeeper
Shrugs and all -purpose Knutson pitch a tent on the Chiefs reservation, Jaunty cancelled the rest of the Pow-Wow, put down the peace pipe, and took the rest of his crew to CL Excavating (where singing of any Willy Wonka songs will be expressly forbidden). Wyatt, Blake, Hobey and Eric will add a new and exciting element to the Excavator’s “expedition of gold” ( non-wrestling fans are now reaching for the goggle search).

CL has become a definite final four contender, as the 2018 National Champions also added another 1st ballot lock HOFer in Quinn Schmitt, as well as the hard working, harder partying , Kevin Purrington. If someone would have told The Mag twelve months ago that eight Barrie’s guys would be playing with nine Geez guys we would have demanded that individual be immediately drug tested! This squad (if the cards don’t get shuffled again) has a big shot though, the CL core knows how to rise up for big tourneys as witnessed by their 2017 International Championship and 2018 Nattie. They already boasted one of the top keepers in the world. They have now added young legs, and the last remaining link to the 02 Red gold medal squad.

The Mag’s American dark horse for the main draw, The MN Chiefs have been busy, busy as well. Danny Shrugs in net stabilizes an already talented, but extremely volatile goalkeeping situation. In The Editors opinion this squad will adapt the best to the redline/contact game out of any of the American hopefuls. Seitz,Hondo,DC is a greasy slick combo that should raise hell. Pitt and Gilly along with shutdown center Moseley will be difficult to deal with. The additions of McJunkin and Knutson give the Mdewakanton many, many options upfront. They also have size and toughness on the blue line with Sticks and Nelson leading the way.

Can any of these four capture gold in their respective division? We suspect The Gold Sheet will be weighing in with expert odds and analysis as the IFBA Invite draws near. Alas this piece grows far past its word limit! And we haven’t even chimed in yet on other Minny participants MN Bombers, Wolves, Furious, etc., etc. There is also a lovely controversy brewing over on the Women’s side that will have to wait for the next issue. Wow! Next issue should be a pot stirring cauldron of more broomball bits.

Stay tuned.

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