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American Men’s Top Ten Rankings
Submitted By: The Broomball Magazine on October 1, 2018 at 11:01:29 AM

“Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we’re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside.”

First off. Let’s address the name change.

When we started filling The Golden Pen with ink more than 15 years ago we simply used a parody title, riffing off the “ESPN The Magazine” publication. Well, someone on an island out west felt threatened by our stories reporting on worldwide rankings and dropped a dime on us to ESPN. This is a 100% true story! I still have the sheepish email from ESPN, (which ratted out the Grand Poohbah of Broomball, who had turned us in to them by the way). It went on to say they realized we were a parody, but asked nicely could we please stop using their name. Who were we to argue with The Sport’s Leader? We dropped the title and switched to Global Broomball Magazine. We had also been threatened with other ramifications if we used World Broomball in our title. You can’t make it up!

The Editor has taken some heat lately for the “Global” portion of The Mag’s title, as the articles regarding anything other than American men’s broomball have been far and few between. The criticism is/was valid. As The Editor has gotten older, and the playing days are all but gone, his interest in all things broomball has begun to wane. So… from now on when we decide to help USA Broomball out with their advertising rates by blowing up their views clicker with fresh takes, we will be going with simply “The Broomball Mag”. Hope that helps for those that got mad about Global!!!

On to the first rankings of the 18/19 campaign!

1. MN Chiefs – Richfield MN - TC Open Champion, MN Meltdown Champion
No brainer here. The team is explosive! Will without doubt be the highest scoring team in the nation this season. Duluth native Seitz was a monster addition last December. The youth are legit, and may have finally found a home after switching teams five times in 14 months since their Met X debut. Captain’s DC and Sticks have their hands full though trying to tame this verbally active bunch! The PK unit will be tested.


2. Kelly Lake – Apple Valley MN- 2nd Place TC Open, 3rd place tie MN Meltdown
Don’t want to sound like a broken record, but these guys go as their top five guys go. If they are spectacular then the team can win anywhere. If they are just good though, the team is not deep enough to win championships consistently. The additions for World are going to make them extremely dangerous.

3. Sun Devils – MN/NY - Sin City Showdown Champion, TC Open 4th Place
This is the Masters team. It’s not The Barrie’s Tavern North America you saw at The Meltdown, and are going to see at the NA’s and International, BTNA doesn’t get ranked in the US rankings, too many imports. Thank God Trump and Trudeau signed the new trade agreement or the tariffs were going to seriously dent the Chiarizia Foundations endowment! The Sun Devil group of 40 and over veterans is practicing and playing for the purpose of competing in the Masters Division at the upcoming World tourney. It features players who have won an absurd amount of Championships over their careers, and are still capable of giving anyone a run for their money on any given day. The recent roster tinkering has brought back HOF’er Kallstrom, with fellow HOF’ers Blair and Schrick rumored to be arriving soon. Make sure your co-pays are in order.

4. C&L Excavating – Albertville MN – 3rd TC Open, 3rd place tie Meltdown
The defending National Champions have not been at their best so far in 2018. The Mag expects that to change when the younger portion of the roster starts showing up. They are sporting five imports from last year’s Barrie’s Tavern roster, and arguably one of the top keepers in the world. For whatever reason it just isn’t clicking yet for this crew. Let’s see if they can right the ship in time for Blaine.

5. Legion BC – USA
A squad that used to be comprised of almost exclusively east siders has begun to morph into an American melting pot. Haven’t seen the big man from Fargo in one of those ghoulish green suits yet, but his presence will undoubtedly be felt when the checking door is opened up. They have an uncanny ability to hang around while absorbing a shelling, and then sneak up and steal it at the end. You sleep on them and they can hang an L on you before you know what hit you. Doubt The Mag? Reference the 2018 Syracuse Can/AM.

6. Furious – Mpls MN
They marked the five year anniversary of their Oxford OH National Championship victory with an unexpected run to the 2018 National Championship game. They came up just short, but wow… they were a steep price to even get into that game! We are sure The Gold Sheet is going to post a big number on them again for the upcoming IFBA gala. Can they defy the odds maker again? We shall see.

7. Outlaws – Syracuse NY – 5th place TC Open, 3rd place Sin City Showdown
They have played the absolute best talent in the country (and Canada in Vegas) and have done nothing to embarrass themselves. Their Sin City games against a multi-national loaded Met X team were both very close until late lapses in judgement did them in. If you toss out the top four power teams these guys are an interesting dark horse to win a tourney vs the rest. Hmmmmm,
Might be an idea for a new tourney brewing.

8. C+ - Columbus IN – 5th/6th tie MN Meltdown, 4th place Sin City
Much like The Outlaws this squad tests themselves anywhere and everywhere. Living proof that playing the best competition does indeed make you better. Jason Voorhees in the cage is absolutely fearless with his axe murderer mask on. Their management team is clearly organized and efficient to be able to get that many guys to so many different locales. The Mag salutes these guys, a very gutsy bunch!

9. Rochester United – Rochester MN tie 7th/8th Meltdown
Did not play their best in their lone appearance so far this year. They did however give Barrie’s North America a wakeup call in the Meltdown, as they scored first in a game where BNA was chasing the goal differential #1 seed. For a time It was reminiscent of their upset over Barrie’s Tavern in the 2018 Nationals, but even though they were able to score a 2nd goal against them in The Meltdown, the floodgates opened up in a lopsided defeat this time.

10. Wolves – Blaine MN tie 7th/8th Meltdown
Much like RU they did not bring their best to the table at The Meltdown. They have been prepping all summer for the World Tourney, but that will be some deep water for Coach Caleb to navigate. A week of games against five of America’s best, as well as possible collisions with Ottawa, Bruno, Odessa and Quebec may have them longing for the glory days of their Bethel Collegiate National Championship run.



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